Shift

The tectonic plates deep inside of me were incrementally shifting 

Setting up the landscape of my mature mind 

To drift further and further apart from my young one

I wouldn't reach it yet 

I was still mangled in natural disasters of the ego - anger, pride, insecurity 

The vines of which wrapped around 

Me tight 

A chokehold that I could no longer feel

Because I was so used to it 

So used to being in a bind 

I'd have to go around the world of experiences I was meant to have 

Only to return to a renewed land of

Unprecedented peace 

No natural disasters 

No mental wars

A paradise of growth and acceptance.

© L.A. Fraser

Alien

Sometimes I feel like an alien on a planet populated by my own choices. 

L.A. Fraser

Restless

My heart is a haunted hotel 

Your ghost occupies all its rooms 

It's broken and vacant

And somewhere in its depths 

our love lies, buried alive 

in a tomb 

© L.A. Fraser 

I'd rather

If I must feel lonely 

Let me feel so by myself 

Rather than feeling lonely 

in the company 

of someone else 

Choices

The choices we make 

The hearts we break

The lives we take 

The happiness we fake

In order to escape 

The choices we make.

© L.A. Fraser

I wouldn't settle for anything less than complete and utter adoration. Give me the universe with the way you look at me. A star & a galaxy alone won't do. 

Give me a new world, freshly pressed and hot with atoms that contain enough energy to carry our love through a forever of lifetimes 

An adoration that defies space and time. 

Explore

Let's go to a place where only we 

could get lost in each other's wonder 

And roam in the untouched spaces of the higher dimensions of each other...

© L.A. Fraser

Phase change

His words vaporized her

Down to the boiling point of

Who she wasn't 

She changed her entire phase for him 

Just because of words 

And his actions 

Could have brought her back 

From the vapor she was

swaying in whichever direction he ordered 

But he never used them 

His words 

Powerful but weak 

And she, too in love to know her strength

And too in love with love to know that love doesn't demand that you lose yourself to ensconce in someone else 

© L.A. Fraser 

Fashion Statement

She said, forget the diamonds 

She'd rather have his kisses strung around her neck 

Blinged out in his passion & desire, 

She'd rather wear his love.

© L.A. Fraser 

Rebirth

The imaginal cells have died

I am now in the embryonic stage

Of the phenomenal woman being born deep within me...

© L.A. Fraser

Loneliness

Lonliness is more than a pinch 

More than a pain

More than a stab 

More than a wind

It is a fire 

That engulfes and reduces the 

Happiest person 

Into a pile of ashes 

Besides a broken heart 

Loneliness is the next leading cause 

Of death 

© L.A. Fraser 

 

Asunder

The leaves turned brown 

And I saturated into black 

Split in two  

In the backyard of my mind 

The chirping memories stung each neuron 

The view was Mongolia 

I would show you if our minds could trade photographic thoughts 

But you'll just have to settle for your imagination 

Or the first image when you look

on google 

The view was vast and I even 

Recalled a scent of wild flowery love 

And I, in an ascent, grew dizzy and empty of oxygen trekking that mountain of memories 

See it's tall

And it talks to me 

And I cry into it 

Each drop making it grow 

Larger 

I keep feeding it 

I don't know how to stop

Then I found myself on memory Lane 

Trying to hitch a ride back 

to an arcane time 

But no one stopped for me

Because there was no one but me 

I trekked it, each mile a different scenery 

And then an empty house, 

haunted by abrupt departures and half ass promises

Roaming around trying to break free 

The blanket of road folded up and into me 

I too became a memory 

A Lane 

What was my name? 

Which season am I?

Am I ocean or sky?

None, but only on the cusp of each blue 

A hazy horizon

Split in two 

And the sun turned and the moon looked away 

And the tides kept tugging at her to pay attention 

And the sky asked me for a kiss

But I didn't know how to 

I was gold I was now old 

I was a spy of a lost soul 

I was three hundred shades of blue 

I was a washed out hue

I wasn't Mongolia though that was my view 

I liked to look at the marigolds

And pretend that nothing changed 

Not a season not a day into night 

Not a hint of foliage, not a dawn 

not a twilight 

And pretend that I was different 

But I was split in two 

Turning into someone I'd soon meet 

The other, she'd go off somewhere 

Into a dusty dawn of fallen stars 

Their lights still flickering 

Banking on burnt out hopes 

I pray for rain 

To wash away stains of disdain 

Me and that new person I'd be 

Would like just to be a memory 

A breeze a pulsar 

A nebula 

A dancing aurora 

Always on the brink of getting away 

And as ephemeral as blind love 

Pathways

You've crossed the hallways of my mind so many times, & walked thru the iridescent streets found only in my dreams; you live in a world within me,

I live in a world without you

© L.A. Fraser

4 a.m. (My only friend)

While the raven sky cloaks me 

in its quilt of stars 

4 a.m. catches all my tears 

The darkness of the world and 

my heart are one

Ensconced in my doubts and fears

The silence of the night keeps my sadness safe 

In its stillness I quiver like a frantic flame

Then out of nowhere

I'm embraced by faith 

My raging catharsis, tamed

© L.A. Fraser

Haunted

Maybe we are all houses

Haunted by the habits of

Our former lives 

That were killed too soon

Haunted by our inaction our fear

Our secrets our hope our pride

Our hearts

rattle and shake like empty bottles 

And our emotions fling across 

empty rooms

Haunted by our choices 

We are houses begging to be cleansed 

© L.A. Fraser 

Fool for the Unforgettable

There are certain things I want to do

Like learn to fly a plane

Or forget about you

I want to jump out of a cake

To make fondue 

To write a book

To forget about you

To run naked down a beach 

To sail away 

To mediate for an hour

To forget about you one day 

To ride a motorcycle 

To chase the sunset 

To paint a masterpiece 

Why haven't I forgotten you yet 

To dance the tango 

This I have to learn  

To master an instrument 

To crash but not burn

All these things I could learn to do 

But I could never teach myself to forget about you...

© L.A. Fraser 

Civil war for a woman of color

She is at war with herself 

Can't come to grips with her dark eyes

Fighting, launching battle ships to turn them blue 

But what she doesn't realize is her entire being is already that color,

changing her eyes would make no one recognize her 

But that's what she wants

To get away from herself 

And yes, she's at war with herself 

But she invades others with her imperialist ideas 

that she is the best 

Because she wears the latest

Because she's clad in designers 

we can't afford 

Because she doesn't drive a ford

No one that knew her recognizes her now

Except for the insightful 

And those who wish to be like her

Secretly fiddle their rifles 

Because something about her seems fake, and off 

It's not just the extensions that make her hair look longer & softer

It's the show of glamour 

But when she looks in the mirror 

The eyes looking back behind blue contacts are sad

The eyes protected by fake lashes 

Are mad 

and full with raging storms that swirl around her pupils 

Storms of unreconciled feelings 

Of what her beauty should be 

The civil war wages on

Which side will win? Insecurity or acceptance?

It's hard to do penance 

Looking for herself in the gazes of men 

In the eyes of equally lost boys 

She almost finds herself buried there

Beneath those toys 

But she doesn't quite hit the mark

She almost finds herself underneath the confetti of money thrown her way

For her irristable, salacious tendencies

But she doesn't really get it.  

And the lost boys take her in

They indulge in her cardinal sin

She is satisfied because she's adored 

But the other starving side of her begs for more 

The brand names cover up the 

bad thoughts 

They are all she needs to feel safe

They define her down to her bones 

Too bad she can't see that her mind can define her even more 

If only she knew that true adoration can only come from within 

Starting a war and trying to abandon your own country -

Either way you can't win 

And missiles of judgment are fired with no hesitation 

at those who don't meet her requirement

That everyone be tasteful and stylish 

In order to have fulfillment 

But who is she to judge 

What can make another happy when she can't even figure it out?

If she knew who she was she'd have an answer for that

Imperialism again, no doubt

Maybe one day she will learn

The key to happiness lives in those 

dark eyes

It's not until she draws a peace treaty between her dichotomy 

That her true potential will be realized.

©L.A. Fraser 

Deity

Don't call me your Aphrodite 

Make me your Kali 

Your Oshún 

Your Ishtar 

Your Isis

Your Oya 

Your Sedna 

Your Uma 

Your Lakshmi

There's no going back 

Once you've tasted me 

One day 

I will cause hurricanes

And spin you in my tornados

The next

I will send a smooth breeze 

And you will take me in again 

There is magic in my touch 

And fire in my kiss 

Air in my sighs 

An ocean rhumbas deep within me

There is thunder in these small thighs

Lightening bolts in my dark eyes 

And electricity that runs 

As deep as poetry 

Tell me 

Which goddess do you dare to make me?

© L.A. Fraser

Noctuary

The Orionid rained down 

And we were whirling 

Watching the star trails in each other's eyes 

You saw my soul

I saw the past when you and I were up there 

Colliding during the Big Bang 

We met again 

Hands, eyes, lips, thoughts

They all met again

And when you touched me

The moon grew fuller 

Its light incandescent

The emotion incalescent. 

Your essence

Soothed me 

How could it be 

You were always here 

Even when you weren't?

We swayed in daydreams 

Of what tomorrow would bring 

We drank the stars 

And intoxicated off of our love 

And starlight 

You held me tight 

And whispered candy words in my ear 

I kissed 

You licked 

And we erupted 

And melted.

The moon knew all our secrets that night 

She saw our passion 

And indulged her light on our desire, 

Our bodies half-bathed in her beams.

Cloaked under night's veil 

We took a roller coaster to the stars 

They will forever remember

the way we breathed each other's names... 

©L.A. Fraser 

Death

She hung by the gallows 

Of their expectations 

Her life force trickling away 

Because she didn't have the courage to say

That she refused to live life their way 

#micropoetry

Night & Day

In the day I was a breeze of happiness 

I was glad 

In the night I was a tornado of pensive pent up thoughts

missing something I never had

#micropoetry

Missing

My soul

Gone for days

Trying to find itself

In constructed images of

Designer bags & shoes

Lost, looking in the wrong places 

For food

Did it drive off the road

Was it kidnapped by thieves

Abducted by aliens

Or did it not love me & fantasized

About running away, so it did

I search book stores, libraries

I search poems, trees

I hunt down words and sentences 

To see if maybe it's hiding among some stranger's thoughts

I search travel photos because maybe it just needed a vacation 

But it's not there

It used to be

Where did it go

Did you take it with you 

When you decided to go

When you decided that you were no longer in the mood to love me?

Do you have it wrapped up

Tangled between your lies & 

Half-ass tries?

Do you have it shuffling around your mind, bringing it out to toy with it when you think of me?

Do you hold it hostage in your tower of meaningless words and cowardly actions?

If so, please set it free...

Missing: a soul that was once carefree 

If you see anything that looks remotely similar 

Contact me

The reward: a happy girl churning out more poetry

© L.A. Fraser 

Blank hole

All she ever wanted was to be the blank in the middle of a sentence that could never be filled. She wanted to appear unexpectedly and to be loved and to never truly be known. A flat mystery that appeared as such on first look but hid a hole so deep and spiraling that only the truly brave would venture into her wonderland of complexity. 

©L.A. Fraser

Call to travel

The stars are tugging at my soul

Daring me to lose control

I must go down a path carved only for me 

One that requires bravery 

One that shines brightly for me

A path lit by stars and a moon full of hope and possibility 

The stars wink at me

They speak a language only my soul knows 

One where no words are needed 

But sometimes my soul is afraid to speak back 

Afraid of a new way 

Afraid of greatness 

But the wind tugs gently at my hair 

Nudging me to put aside care 

And worry 

For the sake of my destiny 

I must go 

I must lose myself 

So that I may find myself 

At another end 

New 

Evolved 

Lifted 

Up to drift among those same stars 

With my truths beared & dares done 

My soul emerged renewed 

My work & love melded as one

© L.A. Fraser 

Unloveable

She was beautiful in a serene way

But ferocious storms swirled in her eyes 

Hidden by her smiles 

And she fought a war with herself 

At 4 am each night 

Between who she wanted to be and who society told her to be 

She fought cold wars between her and others 

She was artillery 

Destroying those in her way and destroying her own self 

She had the wind in her hair 

The ocean in her laugh 

The night sky in her rising breaths 

Rainbows in the palm of her hands 

And hurricanes in her heart 

But in her soul she was torn 

Too evolved for a world still stuck in time 

Too open for a man who was afraid of change,

afraid to let go of his own jail of limitations 

And so like him, she was trapped 

Between doing what's normal and what is the unorthodox 

And that is why, even laying next to him 

She was gone 

Like twilight or a lonely afternoon 

There, beautiful, but striking an impending sense of loneliness in the person observing her 

She wrestled with cyclones that formed in her throat yet never made it out 

Choked on clouds of thoughts 

Riddled with faults 

But still scintillating like a sun 

She was the misunderstood one 

The storm no man could predict coming 

The destruction he didn't want to rebuild 

She was the remnant of a ruin 

The faded stain, the broken brick, 

the shattered glass, the chipped paint, the weathered home

She was the half forgotten melody 

The shadow you thought you saw 

The chaos you once mistook for beauty 

But she was devastating 

and beautiful once

And she came and went 

And now he understood 

why people always ached to touch a shooting star

© L.A. Fraser  

Start Again

I've failed 

I've buried my own self 

In a hole filled with fear 

Alive, I am

But not awake 

I taste the bitterness of giving up

I inhale the vapors of backing down 

Surrendering is never a choice 

Unless you surrender to love 

But to surrender to fear 

Is to be stuck 

In a haze you can't find your way out of 

There is a shackle at my heart 

It stops my feet from moving 

My hands from writing 

My urge to keep going 

sitting in a graveyard of potential 

Never once transformed to the kinetic

This energy consumes me 

And there is a restlessness 

That paces around my caged heart 

A lion looking for anything but another 

False start 

Anything but another job undone 

Anything other than to put on, only to 

Realize it has to give up, a crown 

So many of us roam in kingdoms 

Of done 

Done with trying

Done when it gets hard

Done when nothing happens 

Broken & splintered with half-done shards

And we're okay with this

We say oh another day 

It wasn't for me 

Give up before we could reach our destiny

We walk to crawl and grovel

When right besides us running parallel

Is an unlived life

© L.A. Fraser

What it really is

This isn't butterflies 

It's earthquakes that shake my very soul to the core.

©L.A. Fraser 

Could never reach

You are the unattainable girl 

The one who has a world of mystery 

Wrapped up in your eyes

And secrets creamed on to your lips 

The one they long to be like and be with 

The one they like the idea of

The one no one knows how to truly love

© L.A. Fraser 

Wishful thinking

The things you really want
I'm not
And could never be
                Don't fall in love with the idea of me


                                                                                                                             #micropoetry

Is there

Is there a man who knows how to handle the female body 

To see her as art 

Yet sculpt her to suit the needs 

She has deep down that she didn't even know existed  

To see her as an ocean

And dive in, exploring the treasure chests of her mind and her soul

To see her as a landscape

Sinuous and scintillating 

To groove around her curves slowly

Caress her contours 

And wander her terrain in search of 

stars...

To fashion her into his lover

One who is receptive to his touch and his attentiveness,
one who will long to please him as he does her 

To listen to the clues she gives so that he would read her mind

Piecing together the resistance as a silhouette to sweet surrender
as a shadow to a magnificent lover
Is there a man
Who could find her?

(C) L.A. Fraser