Asunder

The leaves turned brown 

And I saturated into black 

Split in two  

In the backyard of my mind 

The chirping memories stung each neuron 

The view was Mongolia 

I would show you if our minds could trade photographic thoughts 

But you'll just have to settle for your imagination 

Or the first image when you look

on google 

The view was vast and I even 

Recalled a scent of wild flowery love 

And I, in an ascent, grew dizzy and empty of oxygen trekking that mountain of memories 

See it's tall

And it talks to me 

And I cry into it 

Each drop making it grow 

Larger 

I keep feeding it 

I don't know how to stop

Then I found myself on memory Lane 

Trying to hitch a ride back 

to an arcane time 

But no one stopped for me

Because there was no one but me 

I trekked it, each mile a different scenery 

And then an empty house, 

haunted by abrupt departures and half ass promises

Roaming around trying to break free 

The blanket of road folded up and into me 

I too became a memory 

A Lane 

What was my name? 

Which season am I?

Am I ocean or sky?

None, but only on the cusp of each blue 

A hazy horizon

Split in two 

And the sun turned and the moon looked away 

And the tides kept tugging at her to pay attention 

And the sky asked me for a kiss

But I didn't know how to 

I was gold I was now old 

I was a spy of a lost soul 

I was three hundred shades of blue 

I was a washed out hue

I wasn't Mongolia though that was my view 

I liked to look at the marigolds

And pretend that nothing changed 

Not a season not a day into night 

Not a hint of foliage, not a dawn 

not a twilight 

And pretend that I was different 

But I was split in two 

Turning into someone I'd soon meet 

The other, she'd go off somewhere 

Into a dusty dawn of fallen stars 

Their lights still flickering 

Banking on burnt out hopes 

I pray for rain 

To wash away stains of disdain 

Me and that new person I'd be 

Would like just to be a memory 

A breeze a pulsar 

A nebula 

A dancing aurora 

Always on the brink of getting away 

And as ephemeral as blind love 

Pathways

You've crossed the hallways of my mind so many times, & walked thru the iridescent streets found only in my dreams; you live in a world within me,

I live in a world without you

© L.A. Fraser

4 a.m. (My only friend)

While the raven sky cloaks me 

in its quilt of stars 

4 a.m. catches all my tears 

The darkness of the world and 

my heart are one

Ensconced in my doubts and fears

The silence of the night keeps my sadness safe 

In its stillness I quiver like a frantic flame

Then out of nowhere

I'm embraced by faith 

My raging catharsis, tamed

© L.A. Fraser

Haunted

Maybe we are all houses

Haunted by the habits of

Our former lives 

That were killed too soon

Haunted by our inaction our fear

Our secrets our hope our pride

Our hearts

rattle and shake like empty bottles 

And our emotions fling across 

empty rooms

Haunted by our choices 

We are houses begging to be cleansed 

© L.A. Fraser 

Fool for the Unforgettable

There are certain things I want to do

Like learn to fly a plane

Or forget about you

I want to jump out of a cake

To make fondue 

To write a book

To forget about you

To run naked down a beach 

To sail away 

To mediate for an hour

To forget about you one day 

To ride a motorcycle 

To chase the sunset 

To paint a masterpiece 

Why haven't I forgotten you yet 

To dance the tango 

This I have to learn  

To master an instrument 

To crash but not burn

All these things I could learn to do 

But I could never teach myself to forget about you...

© L.A. Fraser 

Civil war for a woman of color

She is at war with herself 

Can't come to grips with her dark eyes

Fighting, launching battle ships to turn them blue 

But what she doesn't realize is her entire being is already that color,

changing her eyes would make no one recognize her 

But that's what she wants

To get away from herself 

And yes, she's at war with herself 

But she invades others with her imperialist ideas 

that she is the best 

Because she wears the latest

Because she's clad in designers 

we can't afford 

Because she doesn't drive a ford

No one that knew her recognizes her now

Except for the insightful 

And those who wish to be like her

Secretly fiddle their rifles 

Because something about her seems fake, and off 

It's not just the extensions that make her hair look longer & softer

It's the show of glamour 

But when she looks in the mirror 

The eyes looking back behind blue contacts are sad

The eyes protected by fake lashes 

Are mad 

and full with raging storms that swirl around her pupils 

Storms of unreconciled feelings 

Of what her beauty should be 

The civil war wages on

Which side will win? Insecurity or acceptance?

It's hard to do penance 

Looking for herself in the gazes of men 

In the eyes of equally lost boys 

She almost finds herself buried there

Beneath those toys 

But she doesn't quite hit the mark

She almost finds herself underneath the confetti of money thrown her way

For her irristable, salacious tendencies

But she doesn't really get it.  

And the lost boys take her in

They indulge in her cardinal sin

She is satisfied because she's adored 

But the other starving side of her begs for more 

The brand names cover up the 

bad thoughts 

They are all she needs to feel safe

They define her down to her bones 

Too bad she can't see that her mind can define her even more 

If only she knew that true adoration can only come from within 

Starting a war and trying to abandon your own country -

Either way you can't win 

And missiles of judgment are fired with no hesitation 

at those who don't meet her requirement

That everyone be tasteful and stylish 

In order to have fulfillment 

But who is she to judge 

What can make another happy when she can't even figure it out?

If she knew who she was she'd have an answer for that

Imperialism again, no doubt

Maybe one day she will learn

The key to happiness lives in those 

dark eyes

It's not until she draws a peace treaty between her dichotomy 

That her true potential will be realized.

©L.A. Fraser 

Deity

Don't call me your Aphrodite 

Make me your Kali 

Your Oshún 

Your Ishtar 

Your Isis

Your Oya 

Your Sedna 

Your Uma 

Your Lakshmi

There's no going back 

Once you've tasted me 

One day 

I will cause hurricanes

And spin you in my tornados

The next

I will send a smooth breeze 

And you will take me in again 

There is magic in my touch 

And fire in my kiss 

Air in my sighs 

An ocean rhumbas deep within me

There is thunder in these small thighs

Lightening bolts in my dark eyes 

And electricity that runs 

As deep as poetry 

Tell me 

Which goddess do you dare to make me?

© L.A. Fraser